Tuesday, April 3, 2007

"Fowl" Trouble Afoot in Steelhead

It is with great sorrow that I announce our most recent trouble in Steelhead. While Steelhead tends to be a friendly, quiet little town (with the notable exception being our wonderful parties and dances), we do have the occasional problem. Our most recent trouble involves our beloved turkeys, who patrol the gardens and common areas of Steelhead with dilegence.

It was reported to our town sheriff, Fuzzball Ortega that the turkeys have been treated most horribly. Person or persons unknown have snuck up on the turkeys and used them for their own purposes. I hate to get into details for the more gentle readers, but I will say that the turkeys have suffered a fate worse than death. Items of a certain nature had been found at the scenes of the crimes and have since been sent away to be examined for clues. Turkey Lurkey, the spokesturkey for the group spoke at a press conference, expressing his concerns.

This has been a dark event for the fair town of Steelhead. We all hope the perpetrator or perpetrators are apprehended soon!!!

11 comments:

Darien said...

What?? Don't look at ME! }:oP

Look, Incubi PLAY with their food, they don't play WITH food! Capeesh?

-Darien

Christine McAllister said...

My dear Mr. Mason! Did I point fingers at anyone? I'm just reporting the news as I hear it. *giggles and grins*

emillyorr said...

Well, I'm staring at the turkey now, and his eyes are glowing with a strange amber fire...I am told he's been...tainted demonically.

On the other hand, you're not the only incubus on the grid. Oh, the horror....

....and besides, poor feathered boy, it might have been a succubus attack anyway?

*capers off*

Fuzzball_Ortega said...

Yea, you guys go ahead and joke about it all you want. I'm the one who's being pressured by the Poultry Rights Activist from the Mainland to get to the bottom of this.

They've got some really powerful chickens in that organization, lemme tell ya.

Qlippothic Projects said...

Yet another reason why Steelhead should have a JAIL for when we catch this barnyard bounder!

*discharges fire extinguisher to drive off charging demonturkey*

Gnarlihotep Abel said...

qli said:"Yet another reason why Steelhead should have a JAIL for when we catch this barnyard bounder!"

I think there's a dungeon somewhere, but would that help?

Qlippothic Projects said...

Abel said: I think there's a dungeon somewhere, but would that help?

Dungeon?? That's my MAINTENANCE BAY!

:P

~Qli

emillyorr said...

And Miss Qli's "maintenance bay" doesn't have bars, anyway...save on the main gate...

But it's true, you know, we've even had the odd request from wrongdoers to come to town and be arrested...which would be difficult, were we to have no jail.

Qlippothic Projects said...

Miss Orr,

I cannot help but notice that that one demonically possessed turkey has been following you about, gobbling at you with angst in his voice and flapping his wings in a melodramatic fashion!

emillyorr said...

If it's the one I'm thinking of, he was following me before the last town meeting, when I ascended to meQal's roof to see the...alien....thing...pet...of his.

Turkey flew up, stared balefully at both of us, then sank dramatically down into the shrubbery. I hit the ground and he was off with a squawk.

...oh-ho, you're accusing ME? Honestly, you think the train-wreck love life needs actual fowl, now? Tch.

For shame, such thoughts, Miss Qli...

Qlippothic Projects said...

Ah, so the Xeno on meQal's roof IS his pet! I do hope Mr. Anna comes back soon before it tries hunting land-based creatures!

~Qli